It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
