I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
