i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Success! We fucked roommates!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
