I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
