Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
