Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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