Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
