Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
