You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
