your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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