Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
