If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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