i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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