come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
