I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
