You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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