when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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