Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sarcasm needs its own font
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
