At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
