Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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