Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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