i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she told me i tasted like america
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
