I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
