i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
