He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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