i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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