They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I love you. Go after that dick
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize