I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
