dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
