just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
