ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
