she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He shit in the fireplace
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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