I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
