she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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