Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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