Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
