So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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