I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I want to have your abortion
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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