Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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