she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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