Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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