i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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