Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You are a genius and a whore.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
