Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my poor anus
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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