Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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