You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
