So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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