I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
