I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
