lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
