No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize