She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize