would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
