kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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