I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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