I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize