He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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