He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
