"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am spending my child support on dildos
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize