My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
