Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
